While the folks down in Tassajara are at home, working away at jobs they find meaningful, getting on TV, a larger part of the Tassajara community is having to work, possibly much harder, dealing with the emotional effects of becoming displaced. Torn away from home, job and meaning.
How are you doing out there? Sitting with the unknown, the ambiguity?
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11 comments:
So much gratitude for this blog. It gives Dale and I, living on the other side of the Sierras something to connect to Tassajara with--besides just breathing in all the smoke from that drifts over from all the California fires.
With love and prayers to the wind and fire gods and goddesses.
Wow, anonymous.I'm hoping you meant to be funny,otherwise it sounds like you are really angry with the people involved. I'm hoping it was humor, hope you're not in as bad a shape as that made it sound. . . to my ear, anyway. . . . .
hello anonymous, and anonymous: here we are, us 3, the same, and really not the same. all are welcome here
Could the link to the Google Earth view of the fire and Tassajara by posted? Or at least be sent to me if it cannot be posted. How often is it updated?
David Wimberly
davidwimberly@gmail.com
Anonymous number one here: what is anger? What is humor? These are but distractions, just breathe!
What is anger, what is humor, what is spiritual bypass?
Sounds a bit like a lie, or maybe a lot. At least, if you say something is fucked, own it, don't drop it on the road without responsibility. Now, I'm going to breath. I realize this fire has the capacity to light us all...including me. Kindness.
Well, actually, it can be a bit bleak at times, remaining fairly clueless while the on-site "able-bodied" go about with girded loins. Or girdled lions, or something... Anyway, quite a few of us "exiles" would just as soon be at Zenshinji, you know?
-myo
I think it's become "an exclusive nightclub" because of this little thing called a raging uncontrolled wild fire. You can't have chaotic comings and goings and people everywhere unaccounted for while maintaining a necessarily tight and coherent fighting force. I wish i was there too - but the team they have is doing a great job and know the layout of the work they've done, are bonding as a team, and are rehearsing many contingency plans together. It can hurt to feel separated but let's be realistic and supportive of those honored enough to be there and are giving it their all .
I bowed out as a Tassajara monk back in December, then found myself back in the zendo in February as a member of the Jamesburg crew. There are so many moments these days when I look around and think, "How did I land here?" Now Antoine and I are in Alameda, and I'm back at my "job," but I'm finding my heart is with all of you -- those at Zenshinji, those displaced. Of course, our community never leaves each other, we simply find ourselves where our feet are, and we hold each other in those very feet, don't we? Any of you displaced monks or staff or crew or whatever you may call yourselves are welcome here in our home. Many thanks to those who are working to take care of Tassajara in the midst of fire. Much love to all of you, inside the gates or out. Alison
alikreider@yahoo.com
Most of us really want to go back. It is very hard to be displaced. Green Gulch has been kind, welcoming, and supportive, but the anxiety, the not-knowing, and my own sense of being useless, inadequate, excluded, and unable to do anything to help Tassajara is very hard to bear. I also miss the work I was doing and the sense of competence and contribution. It has been great to see many old friends at Green Gulch, and physically a relief to be in a cool, moist climate--the verdure and the ocean--but even that relief comes with a heavy sense of guilt. It is hard to know how to settle in, how to respond, and who to be. I feel very dislocated and withdrawn. It's easy to mouth dharmic platitudes about impermanence but I personally am not finding the teaching in these moments. My practice feels shattered and my heart is broken. So I'm limping around like a stunned mullet, mixing metaphors and (horrors) making beds. I'm faking gratitude but inside I'm pretty pissed about it all. Love to everyone. It's been great reading all the responses on the blog, seeing how Tassajara really affects so many.
Oh my god, there is a great deal of helpful data above!
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